I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
