Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If I die, sorry about rent.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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