my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
