Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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