Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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