Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
