Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You made out with two different species that night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize