I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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