so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
