The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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