If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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