Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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