you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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