Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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