I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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