let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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