Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
