there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
