chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
