Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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