sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
