I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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