is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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