Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
