My hair reeks of homosexuality.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
