What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
