dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
