dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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