i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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