idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
