you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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