Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have feelings that need drinking.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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