i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
