You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
