it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
