spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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