put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
