once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
