I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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