You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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