Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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