Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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