the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee