apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?