My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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