You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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