I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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