i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
