but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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