Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome