I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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