Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Houston, we have a squirter
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
