I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
