If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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