don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize