I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
we should paint friendship bongs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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