it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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