im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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