Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
