there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
