Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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