we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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