My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
