Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
