Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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