matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
