you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
