hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
