honey bunches of taint.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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